Struck by Lightening & Metallica's "One" - 20 Massages in 2 Months (Massage #11 continued)

I felt like I had been struck by lightening!

When I left Massage #11 I found myself thanking Avery more than once from across the lobby as I had seen others do. 

“What, is everyone here a genius?” I said to Jennifer who sat at the reception desk.

“What?” she replied.

“Is everyone here some kind of genius?”

Jennifer did not answer, too modest to say “yes,” whether the potential referred to is tapped or still developing.

A client who sat in the lobby said of Avery, “She’s good isn’t she.” 

I had underestimated the power of Avery’s massage.  I became dizzy. Within minutes I had lost the ability to move, talk or hold my eyes open for more than a few seconds.  For nearly 3 hours I sat silently in the lobby of the Center, mostly mute, blind and still, meditating and working to come back to myself.  I felt like I'd been struck by lightening.

I am beginning to see that the goal talked about in this blog’s first post - to explore the outer limits of massage - is being reached. Setting out I imagined that these 20 massages would relieve physical discomfort and help me process emotions. While it is doing these things it is also catalyzing the awakening process!  It makes sense. All the signs point in this direction including the fast physical changes brought on by massages 1-7. Likewise, trauma often precedes awakening and 2009-2010 were, for me, years of painful though necessary change. (Though there is a school of spiritual thought that says all change is good, it has not been easy or glamorous!).

For the 3 hours I stayed in the lobby I was not sure that had I been able to move sufficiently to ride my bike that I could get home safely.  My reflexes had slowed dramatically.  Once I got up to get water.  It took approximately 3 minutes to walk the 12 feet from my chair to the water cooler, another 7 minutes at the cooler and then 2 minutes back to my chair.  Each step was painfully slow and the trip required a substantial hiatus at a potted tree to commune with the leaves.  Though self-conscious I could not will myself to move faster or to stop paying attention to every detail of existence.  Removing my eyeglasses became an epic journey as I could both feel and was distracted by each hand muscle as it contracted allowing my fingers to grasp the arms of the glasses and after this this by the sensation of the plastic end-pieces compressing the flesh over my cheek bones as they slid off my face. I opened my eyes, each time hoping to find the light dimmed only to have to shield them again by closing them.  I opened my mouth to speak only to mouth soundless phrases.

Jennifer, Aiden, Avery and other staff checked in on me periodically though seemed shy about disturbing what they have said looked - from the outside - like a mostly peaceful, though extraordinarily long, meditation. A client who said “hello” on her way into a session asked me if I needed a ride on her way out. It was funny, embarrassing, educational and scary. 

In my consternation I thought of notes that might explain the situation. I considered writing, “There is a storm of time within me,” or “kundalini crisis” or “Metallica’s ‘One,’” as if any of these phrases could have explained the situation. (Metallica’s ‘One’ is a music video about a patient being tortured in a hospital. He is only able express himself through morse code tapped with a finger. He spends most of the video pleading for help in his head!)

Two and half hours into this siege, Avery, obviously worried, sat down next to me.  By this time I was able to will myself to move and talk a little bit.  Inside of my date book, in an attempt to explain and in markings so light Avery had to strain to see them, I wrote the word “kundalini” and showed it to her.  When she looked puzzled I tried to explain that I would be okay.  After all, I had been through something similar in 2001 when the awakening first took hold and gifts made themselves unmistakably apparent.  Soon after Avery’s visit, movement began to return to my body and then speech.  My eyesight normalized.

At this point you may be asking, “So what exactly happened in this massage with Avery to provoke such a state?”

My answer would be, “What didn’t happen?”

(for more on Massage #11 see next post)