Life is Good - 20 Massages in 2 Months (Massage #13 continued)

Whatever Jenni was doing it was working.  She bent my legs at the knees, rotated them and worked my hips briefly releasing some energy.  .

We talked about massage #11 with Avery and the intensity of the experience. 

“I know that what happened with Avery was a gift,” I said,  “It’s also the case that what the spiritual process brings can be so far outside of social expectations it can be hard to accept.”

“Or explain,” she added.  There was a clear element of comedy in being stuck in the lobby for 3 hours unable to speak.  I laughed.

Next, Jenni moved to my neck.  She began working knots in the base of my neck, knots that always seem to be there even when the energy of past lives has moved.

“You gotta love these knots,” she said, “It’s really rare to have somebody who doesn’t have these knots.  I have the same thing going on.”

It felt great to have the knots loosened. Now, after 42 years of fear at having my neck touched every therapist since massage #6 has been able to massage my neck with ease.  I told Jenni this.

“Really?”

“Really.  After 42 years.  You guys are changing my life.”

“You just made my day,” she said.  I felt her sincerity.  It was as if I could hear her smiling behind her mask.

Although part of me had hoped that moving the past life memories would permanently relieve all neck tension, the knots were strangely reassuring.  They reminded me that even after so much intense spiritual work I am human and that part of being human is to have a body that sometimes get sore, just from just from daily living and nothing more complicated.  They reminded me that altered states, kundalini rushes and shamanic dreaming - however enlightening they may be - have me flying up, down and around the invisible worlds until I forget where I live.  They reminded me that it’s great after working hard to have a body to come home to  – a body that needs sleep, gets dirty, feels pain, recoils at strong smells, loves food, relishes colors, dancing and putting its arms around people that I love.

I can’t help but compare my initial resistance to massage #13 with how I feel now.  At the beginning of massage #13 I was considering quitting this massage odyssey and yet, the very thing I believed would spell my demise – another massage - has restored me.  Ego-  the culprit – nearly fooled me into mistaking a fear of the unknown for a real risk of unnecessary hardship or injury. 

Life is good.  So was Jenni’s massage.  I am savoring the moment, relaxing and resting up should, in the near future, Ego and I go head to head once more.