And So Goes The Spiral - 20 Massages in 2 Months (Massage #20)

I received the final massage of this massage marathon from Louise Faulds.  Click here to see a picture of Louise.

Through the intensive work of the first 19 massages I had grown confident. I felt that I understood the basics of how male and female energies integrate within the self to find meaningful partnership and achieve both expanded consciousness and happiness in life.  I also felt that I understood how ego, through its dominance, perpetrates spiritual, energetic, social or economic repression and how this dominance can be effectively (and safely) undermined.

As mentioned in previous post I biked home from Massage #19 looking forward to Massage #20.  I believed this final treatment simply repeat the insights of previous massages and be a gentle, relaxing and peaceful way to say goodbye to this massage odyssey. However,the unexpected awaited me in Massage #20. 

During these 15 years of – on a near daily basis – exploring and studying the spiritual process, I have learned that at any given moment I am both fundamentally misinformed and, at the same time, know everything necessary to move forward into deeper understanding.  Making peace with the awakening process has meant accepting that it is in the nature of God to expand and move.  Therefore, as I signed up to commune more and more directly with the Divine, I signed up for exploring this same tendency toward expansion and movement in myself.  I had to get used to near constant change, if not in my external world, then in my outlook, habits, thought patterns and assumptions about reality.

More concretely, adapting to this near constant state of flux has meant that whenever I become confident that I have meaningful answers to a particular spiritual riddle, these angelic guides of mine (with my consent) propel me into a new and challenging riddle which in the solving will bring the satisfaction of new understanding and on the heels of this momentary comfort, another riddle, and so the spiral goes.   

In this process it is easy to feel that the insights I have worked so hard to gain – as in the massage marathon - are trivial in the eyes of the powers that be – for they waste no time in showing me something I have not considered or a way in which my understandings have been misunderstanding.   In doing so they clearly demonstrate that while what I just learned was not false, it was just a foundation - or even a mere concrete block within a foundation - of knowledge meant to support the next wave of learning.  This dynamic state of change remains both beautiful and challenging. 

Massage #20 proved to the be the trigger opening me to yet another vista of perception, awareness and opportunity to explore the role of ego, spirit and emotion in creating personal, social and economic realities. 

Massage #20 was far from the peaceful, gentle event I had predicted.  For my part, I insisted that Louise go deep – even when she cautioned that we might be overdoing it. 

(for more, see next post)