Take a Deep Breath – 20 Massages in 2 Months (Massage #12 continued)

An unusual recipe for relief

Without me having to tell her Tasha immediately picked up on my waning appetite and mild dehydration.  She also noticed something I had not – that I was not breathing deeply and my diaphragm was contracted and raised up into my rib cage.  She placed her fingertips on my belly just below the rib cage.

“I’m going to use your breath to release this.  Just breathe in and on the exhale I will press down.” 

As she pressed into my flesh I felt the tender and tight diaphragm muscle give way.  As they did a burst of fear echoed through my system along with the sensation of drowning.  Tasha repeated the motion on the other side.  Afterward, she tested my breathing.  Instead of breathing shallowly I was able to fill my lungs with air. 

“This is going to sound funny but when you get home,” she said, “drink a lot of water and then climb up on a chair.  Right now your diaphragm is contracted up into your rib cage.  The weight of the water in your system will help bring the diaphragm down into its proper position. It works by gravity.” 

“Where’d you learn that?” I asked.

“I just researched it for myself,” she said.  As an afterthought she said quietly, “This must be why I was going through all of that, so I could help you.”  Tasha described that she had been dealing with a similar diaphragm contraction in herself.  I felt gratitude for Tasha’s willingness to undertake, even unwittingly, hardship so that others might be helped.  I marveled at a universe that could and would move in such a way as to make these talented, committed, and loving therapists available to offer this unique and necessary support. 

I had a sense for what Tasha was experiencing.  Often a mysterious difficulty, like fear and diaphragm contraction, will arise in a healer’s system.  Due to the discomfort and even angst this can cause the healer will typically begin researching and experimenting in order to help themselves.  Once the healer finds the solution in their own system, they are often called on to help others with a similar issue.  While there are many ways to receive training in the spiritual healing arts, this feedback loop is one way of training healers who don’t always know what they will be called upon to do.  It also help healers hone their intuition.  It is a sacrifice because it is time outside the session during which healers struggle with pain, discomfort and confusion to benefit others.

Over the last week I had noticed that Tasha was struggling with something.  “That’s quite a sacrifice,” I said.

In reply, Tasha shrugged as if her spiritual commitment made the sacrifice inconsequential.

Now after the massage with Tasha I am more energetic and very hungry. More of my breaths are deep. Fewer come up shallow.  The ache in my legs is minimal and the sharp pains in my abdomen are dissipating.  I am glad that I overcame my resistance to receiving massage # 12.  To make these changes complete, I still must process my fear but I am on better footing and have more understanding than before this massage.

Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to excuse myself … I have pizza and ice cream to eat, water to drink and a kitchen chair to jump off of….

I Really Just Wanted to Stay in Bed – 20 Massages in 2 Months (Massage #12)

Soothing decoration in the lobby of the Well-Being Center for Health on Hill Street

I received massage #12 from Tasha at the Well-Being Center for Health on Hill Street in Monroe.  Click here for a picture of Tasha.

As amazing as massage #11 was it has left me out of sorts. My body has been struggling.  It felt as if my system is seizing up.  I have been eating less and drinking less water.  I have been less active. I have been both sleepy and sleepless. An ache developed in my feet and ankles and a sharp pain below my belly button. For several days I have felt as if I were on fire someplace inside of myself.  These symptoms combined with fast life changes meant that I have been overwhelmed in more ways than one.

Truth be told the last thing I wanted was go back for another massage.  (I wanted to stay in bed!). I readied for massage #12 and my system rebelled with nausea and a kind of waiting until the last minute to get on my bike and head over to the Center.

As I walked back to the treatment room with Tasha we joked about whether I was ready for another session. “No!” I said, mock shouting, “Don’t! I can’t do it! Not again! No!”

I am grateful for this journey and remain curious about what else will be revealed.  At the same time it is turning into a forceful experience requiring me to develop new levels of self-awareness, trust, discipline, humility, endurance and the ability to be present.

“I’d be all over it. Getting this much massage,” said Tasha.

Once in the treatment room, I described to Tasha that it felt as if the flow of energy that had opened up in massage #11 was beginning to slow or was perhaps blocked and that this was creating the aching in my feet and ankles and well as sharp pain in my abdomen.

In spite of my initial resistance it soon became clear that massage #12 would be a soothing experience and that Tasha was the right therapist to work with on this day. Around the center Tasha is known as being “energetically plugged-in” which means that she is sensitive to and knows how to work with spiritual energy.

“Are you comfortable with me doing some abdominal work on you?” she asked.

“Yes,” I replied

The overall tone of the massage with Tasha was mellow. After the grand vistas that opened in massage #11 it felt right to come back to something more familiar.  Tasha began by using broad massage strokes combined with energy work up the back of my legs. 

Interestingly, the observations of previous massage therapists brought clarity to Tasha’s work. For instance, in Massage #9 Aiden had observed that there was likely a connection between the symptoms in my neck and those in my feet.  Now Tasha pressed the flat of her hand on each side of my upper back and asked me to describe how, if at all, this pressing affected my feet. 

“Tell me if, when I press down, it feels more or less balanced in the feet,” she said.  When she pressed on the right side of my back my right foot felt less balanced while the same pressing on the left created a sense of greater balance. 

“That’s crazy … that’s what Aiden indicated!” I exclaimed, “That the two are connected!”

Although I was not able to discern the nature of the connection from this exercise, it provided confirmation that the connection is in fact there.

Emu Oil - 20 Massages in 2 Month (Massage #4 - continued)

Image on front cover of notebook of information on Emu oil in the waiting area of the Center for Well-Being.

I received massage #4 from Tasha.

I have noticed that Tasha is a deep listener. Before the massage I had let her know that I become fearful when someone touches the sides of my neck and also how this response has made it difficult for needed massage work to be done in the area. Tasha gave me her full attention as I spoke. Later in the massage, she moved to the back of my neck and using a cranio-sacral position curled her fingers into the flesh at the base of the right side of my skull. Her fingertips pointed away from my spine and in and toward my neck muscles.

This was ingenious move on Tasha's part. By using her fingers in this way she was able to direct healing energy to the tight neck muscles, allowing them to soften but without touching them directly. This meant that I was able to stay more relaxed and receive more of the benefit of the massage.

I have also noticed that when I leave the Center for Well-Being after a massage my skin always feels exceptionally soft and rejuvenated. I asked Tasha what kind of massage oil they use.

"Emu oil,"  she said.

"Is it mixed with anything, like a lotion?"

"No, just straight emu oil."

I was intrigued and perhaps a little skeptical. My skin never feels greasy after a massage at the Center and likewise, I've never used an oil that absorbs as effortlessly as lotion. In order to satisfy my curiosity, when I got home, I did some independent on-line research into emu oil!

I discovered that the emu is an old bird. The species or some variant of it has survived for many millions of years according to the fossil record. The bird also provided Australian aboriginal people with food, the raw materials for shelter and clothing, and spiritual medicine. One website compared it to the role bison played the Native American world.  Emu oil is said to have special healing powers as well as medicinal properties that allow it to act as a pain reliever, an anti-inflammatory and a skin repair agent. It contains lots of anti-oxidants. It has a reputation for full absorption and for not leaving a greasy feeling! I also read a website where users reported that the oil had helped them with eczema and even arthritis and carpal tunnel.  Another writer said, "It's hard to tell if it works but I feel better when I use it. Can't hurt."  (Based on my research, one person reported an allergic reaction and some, who are vegan, objected to the oil's animal derivation).

Now if I could get my insides feeling as soft and energized as my outsides! Maybe I could drink emu oil.....hmmmm.

The Bodies of Angels - 20 Massage in 2 Months (Massage #4 continued)

A smiling Tasha standing in front of the poster in massage room #6 at the Center for Well-Being

 I received massage #4 from Tasha. Tasha is an experienced massage therapist and energy worker.  I told Tasha that the numbness in my right arm goes away during each massage only to return promptly when I sit down to write, or as I have begun to notice, when I discuss or lately think about spiritual writing. I ask her to tell me any intuitive insights or messages that come to her.

Tasha started the massage by having me lie face up on the table. Fairly quickly into the massage she reached under my back and curled her fingers just under the edges of my right scapula to work the muscle and do cranial-sacral work. Her fingers were comfortable there and I felt the muscle release. Soon after this intense emotions begin to arise.

As I listened to these emotions, I heard once again the voice of my attorney self.  He articulated his case carefully, vehemently, as if to a court. His eyes were large and fearful. “You cannot trust God. You can only trust rationality. You can only trust logic. With logic nothing is hidden. Your mind can grasp it!”

As Tasha worked the muscle and I listened to this voice of mistrust, from deep within my gut a shard of terror flashed to the surface. I felt movement in the right side of my neck where normally, if I were touched, I would shrink away.

Soon Tasha asked me to flip over on the table and put my face in the face cradle. While she worked in deep strokes on my back I shared with her something that had occurred last week as, during the deepest most silent part of the night, I slept.

Becoming a spiritual healer has meant that I have more than my share of direct experiences with the spirit world and three nights ago was no exception. While sleeping on my stomach, face in my pillow, I woke to the feeling of a large hand clasped around the back of my neck. Another hand pressed a palm against the corner of my right scapula and third stretched my left arm and pulled it behind and away from my body. 10 years ago, I would have run screaming from my bedroom. Now, suspecting the spirits, I reached behind me to place my own hand over the back of my neck. Because spirits are ethereal, I expected to move through the hand and land on my own skin. Instead I felt a large physical mass, the curve of individual fingers, a field of small hairs like eyelashes set into the skin between knuckles and the warmth of fire within flesh. For a split second I became terrified. I did not know what was happening. Was I being attacked in my sleep by an intruder or healed by angels that for some reason I was able to experience as solid? I opened my eyes long enough to see that my bedroom was empty and I rolled back into sleep.

Tasha replied, “It’s interesting that they touched you in the parts of your body you are trying to heal.

Though I have grown more used to these occurrences over time, the next day after the visitation, I walked outside in newly fallen snow and listened to the soles of my boots scrap against the concrete of the sidewalk. I remembered the angelic hands with a sense fear and awe sufficient to distract me from the fact of the gift: they had apparently come to lay hands upon me.

I do not remember an attorney ever giving free healing to me in my sleep. This angelic gesture, though startling, gave me pause to consider the vastly different potentials of the two worlds between which I have been asked to choose.

It's Official: Overwhelm is Present! - 20 Massages in 2 Months (Massage # 4)

Survival kit for the emotional overwhelm that sometimes accompanies deep healing - raw organic kombucha, fresh salsa, cuties, raw homemade almond milk, and raw corn chips.

Before talking about Massage #4 with Tasha at the Center for Well-Being let me say: It’s official!

Four massages in 12 days and I’m approaching emotional overwhelm! I knew this was a likely outcome. Focused massage and energy work in conjunction with the larger spiritual forces driving us toward change is yielding results! Emotional energy and thought patterns that prior to this experiment were stored where I couldn’t feel, hear or see them are surfacing into the light! Challenging though it may be, it means that my condition is shifting and that I am slowly gaining the awareness to change - or at least manage - the physical symptoms.

Had I pursued a quality massage once per month or even week and left it at that I would be biking home as I usually do in the glow of warmth and relaxation. However, doing the massages in such a short period of time, focusing on areas of chronic discomfort and my specific intention of resolving issues through accessing root emotional causes has accelerated the healing process. As a result, I’m a bit nauseated and experiencing some free floating anxiety. Sleep is light and more than this is filled with odd images and occurrences. (More on this later).

Stamina, relaxation and self-care are now the name of the game. Stamina because I am four massages down and sixteen to go. Relaxation because if I stay calm, happy and open the energy will continue to flow. Self-care because “What was I thinking!?” 

Luckily, after this many years of square dancing with transformative spiritual energies I know what to do. My next move is to curtsy and do-see-do (or is it doe-si-doe?) into living and raw foods – uncooked fruits, vegetables and nuts that may or may not have been soaked, sprouted, crushed, molded and/or dehydrated at low temperatures and which therefore still have their active enzymes. (For information on raw food and delicious recipes see http://www.rawmazing.com/)

In me living foods often reduce or eliminate physical symptoms. They also allow emotions to surface with more ease. This means that if in one moment I am anxious or upset within a very short time after eating these foods I will experience optimism, peace, and positivity. In other words, I feel great, divinely inspired even. As a result, I remain aware of what is happening on an emotional level but I am not controlled by the experience.
 
For the duration of these 20 massages I anticipate sticking close to my Kombucha bottle, feasting on raw almond milk, munching raw corn chips and then going in for a traditional cooked meal in the evening - for pleasure – and to make sure I get enough calories!