20 Massages in 2 Months - Massage #3 (continued)

Rose - healer anonymous

I returned for my massage with Rose, healer anonymous, at 3:30 pm, wondering if my instincts about her massage practice were right – that her intense need for privacy – the reason I use her middle name here – predicted something about how our session would go.

Once in the massage room I shared with Rose what previous work with Richard and Karen had revealed – that tension in more than one muscle as well as unresolved emotions seemed to underlie the persistent numbness in my right arm. I also told about the fear mysteriously stored in my neck that contributed to the numbness and also made it challenging to have work done there. I also shared that between now and my massage with Karen I had noticed another detail about the numbness. It seemed to return very quickly after sitting down at the computer to write this blog.  (What I did NOT tell Rose is that I had also noticed some loss of sensation and mobility in the ball of my left foot).

Rose shared that, like other therapists at the Center, her massage practice has an intuitive component and that she listens to what the body needs in deciding how to approach each client.  Again, I found the promise of an approach customized to my unique needs appealing. The implication was that this method delivers the highest benefit and that sometimes as clients we are not always consciously aware of what we need.  It would have been easy to be offended by the claim that a therapist - a stranger to me - might know more about my needs than I do – who does she think she is after all? - and yet, I was hard pressed to disagree. Had I been able to access all the relevant information on my own I would have got rid of the numbness (and restored peace to my neck) by now.

Rose stepped out of the room while I undressed. She returned in a few moments with hot packs – colorful pillows filled with buckwheat hulls and heated in the microwave. She arranged the packs around my shoulders – presumably to relax the muscles – and also around my feet because they were cold. She let me know that if I did not like the music she had chosen that I should feel free to ask her to change it.

Rose started the massage by standing at the bottom of the massage table, holding my ankles and pressing down firmly but gently. This had a calming effect that set the stage for the therapeutic massage.

It was immediately apparent that Rose has a well-developed sense for what the body is experiencing. For instance, as she wrapped a hot pack around my right foot she said to let her know if it was too much pressure. Indeed, pack tugged at the sheets in such a way as to bend the tops of my toes slight forward in away that was mildly distracting. She had felt it before I did. Though I had not mentioned the lack of sensation in the ball of my left foot, she held my foot and described a sense of “frozenness,” she detected there.

She did some very light tissue work on my foot and then moved to my legs. Underneath my left knee she hit a spot that was unexpectedly painful. 

I cried out. “Ouch!”

Rose apologized.  “I may have hit a nerve.” 

Truth be told the awakening process has made me very sensitive. Still, I resented feeling this pain. Then I noticed that the feeling was returning to the ball of my foot. It struck me that if I refuse to let in new experiences and appropriate discomfort – like the pain behind my knee - it can keep me stuck. (Now, when I stretch my foot I feel a healthy pop in the knuckle of my left big toe. The sensation has not returned completely but the mobility and feeling of liveliness has!).  This jolt of pain reminded me that it is important to be willing to experience some pain – even if just through the jostling experience of being alive – in order to engage and enjoy life.